Actors and Aging: What Really Matters?
This might sound silly to some, but I vividly remember starting to be concerned about my age and ~aging~ when I was 12 years old.
Yep, 12. As an actor, it’s been drilled into us that age is a wildly important factor to success. As I young actor I was constantly hearing things like, “So-and-so got their first big role at 13” or “Get ready to sit around during the no-mans-land age gap when you’re 14 - 17”. I was constantly worried about looking too young or too old. And pushing myself to hit certain milestones as soon as possible because doing things young was “more impressive”.
As I’ve grown older the outside pressure around age has shifted…and in many ways is even louder thanks to the ridiculous beauty standards of our culture’s endless pursuit of looking youthful (because the industry famously casts folks 5-10 years younger than they actually are -- seriously why do we do this with adults?). So the urge to invest in wrinkle prevention, skin hydration, dying hair to cover grays, etc. is suddenly a new item on the to-do list.
And it’s not just me! I know many other actors who started their careers in their 20s, 30s, 40s and beyond who waited to pursue their dreams because they thought they were “too old to start” and that it was just too late for them. Thank goodness more and more industry professionals are shouting from the rooftops how wildly untrue this belief is!
But still…how did we end up here? Why are we all going through this career with our eyes so firmly rooted on the clock? Because I don’t know about the rest of you, but it’s not very fun.
Earlier this year I had an epiphany: aging is a luxury. Growing older is a gift not everyone gets in this world.
And holy sh*t was that a humbling wake up call. The fact that I wake up each day at all, much less healthy enough to pursue my acting career is amazing. Others would kill to be in my position. Shifting my focus in that direction has made me fret far less about what I’m accomplishing by which age and a whole lot more on finding absolute joy in the journey.
Don’t get me wrong, there is still a LOT of work to do in the entertainment industry to absolve the agist nonsense that so often goes on, especially towards women. I’m truly grateful that our industry is evolving to share stories of women at all ages and appearances. And especially grateful to current celebrities like Sarah Jessica Parker, Kate Winslet, and Helen Mirren (among many others) who are speaking up and insisting on showcasing and celebrating aging - and calling out the double standards between men and women in the industry.
As for me in the meantime? I’ve spent a lot of time making peace & being present with exactly where I’m at in each year in my life, and being GRATEFUL that I get to grow older. I’m also doubling down on the things I can control so that I can hopefully be in a position one day to do my part to make age less of an “issue” in this business.
Anyone else noticed this? What do you do to get out of your head?
